Monday, November 7, 2011

Ok, let us give it a go.

Today I feel a bit sad. What will I share with you today?
The taste of my green spice tea?
The warmth of the overheated office? (t-shirt in November, yay? Nay...)
Delaying the turning on of the lights just to enjoy a bit more the afternoon gloom?
The ever failing network connection that gives me this break?
The baked trout and steamed broccoli dinner?

Sunday, November 6, 2011

I read a few blogs and lately, all over the blogosphere, I see more and more people losing their interest in blogging.

I do not know if it's because they have nothing left to share or because they don't want to share it any more, but they just stop.

When I started blogging, back in 2009, I found out I had somehow lost the peak of the blogging, the hype had passed they said, blogging wasn't the thing, it's was just a thing. And yet, for about two strong years I had it. Things were happening. Things were being written. Satisfaction was given. There was enjoyment. And more.

For me, the last 2 years and a half have very much been the height of blogging. And it wasn't just because I was writing but because I was reading too. By reading I felt inspired, I felt I was part of a something and I felt the need to write some more.

Now I don't know if it's just me, or it is their influence, but I, just like most of my blogging stars, have lost it.

It would be horrible if this isn't even my own feeling, but what if  ...?

Thursday, September 8, 2011

I have a scab on my left leg.

All I'm thinking is ...

eat it!

is that so wrong?!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I'm watching a music video. It's not your conventional video with script, story, actors, etc., it's more of a hey! let's take some shoots of you in the studio, recording this and other songs video.

So we see the people in the band as well as the singer. They're all so happy and they have so.much. fucking. fun. It's like their eyes and faces and body language scream this shit is good. SOOO good!

And then, of course, I look around me and I look in the mirror and ..and I don't see anything like that here. If it's a smile it's from someone sneaking an youtube video between two tasks, or a funny e-mail between a phone call and a skype conference. And I, normally of course, think: God this job sucks! All our jobs suck!1!! 

Because, well, we never get to have fun like these people do.
Because, you know, we work for a living and they do it for fun and on top of that get paid. Yeah.
Because, like, what they do is about creativity and what we do is about ...getting fucked in the ass?
Because when we wake up we know what we'll do for the next 10 hours and even if we don't like it we'll have to do it anyway.
Because usually these people are younger then us and we look at them and go Oh, wow! What did I do when I was this age?
Because there is the usual smart asses bunch who go Look at them: robots! Going to work in their little suits, taking their little commuter trains, eating their little company subsidized lunch, enjoying their measly week-ends at the sea side like freedom has been invented only for them and only then, using their little gadgets they worked their ass off to afford... You know, artiste shit like that.

And I .. I ...

well, fuck off you dudes! Fuck the fuck off! And then some...

because you know what? You'd be nothing without us! Nothing.

You might think you're a somebody and that your creations are only understood and intended for artists like you, that we're sheep and we don't understand what this is all about, yet who pays so you can have all that? Who works so you can have something to eat? Who goes mindless from 9 to 17 so you would have a world to live in? We do.

Oh, I'd so much like to be like you. To spend my days milking the cow of creativity, not really worrying about the actual life problems because bringing the chef d'oeuvre into this world surely pays for every little thing you use and need. But I can't. Well, probably I am capable of, but I can't. Most of us can't.

If  all of as were singers and painters and writes and all that, we would not exist any more. I'm not saying as a species but I guess as a functional society, as a community.

No one likes to do the hard jobs but someone's got to do it. I'm sorry if this ruins your vision of an utopian flowery powery bohemian society, asshole.

But then, I'm just bitter.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011 about the power to move you?

there's this [...]zine I read sometimes that has a permanent column: the 60 seconds interview.

It's pretty boring and uninteresting - mainly because of the people that are being interviewed, but there's this one question that always intrigued me and made me think of a perfect answer many, many times

if you were a super hero, what would your superpower be?

This is a difficult one and, as I said, I've given it a lot of thought but never could come up with a decent answer (read: one that would make people go wow! that's a good one)

..until a few days ago! Yes, that's right, the code has been cracked, the biscuit has been dipped in tea, the cat has eaten the gold fish! for I, I have the answer.

You ready?
If I were a superhero my superpower would be be illegal!

Ge-ni-ous, you say. And I agree :)

You may ask yourselves though: what does this mean? What kind of superpower is this dear N?

And I would answer: it is both a power and a curse my darlings, for with great powers come great irresponsibilities!

The principle is simple: whenever there's a law to be broken, I'll do it. I don't want to do it, but I'll do it.

I will

  • cross the street on the red light and at crossroads
  • travel without a ticket - bus, tram, plane, train, donkey, sardine can, you name it
  • ride my bike on the wrong lane
  • wine&dine without paying
  • mess up the lyrics when singing the national anthem
  • walk around butt naked - this has solved the costume problem
  • not work for the money my employer is giving me
  • loiter on the park benches
  • kick stupid people in the face
  • and generally kicking and beating everyone who deserves to  - by my very own high standards
  • smuggle Kinder Surprise eggs in the U.S. of A.
  • steal candies from babies (is this illegal? if it isn't at least it's morally wrong which is almost as bad as being illegal!)
  • and many, many more bad, illegal things

which I don't want to actually do, but I will not be able to help myself because my superpower forces me to do them. Aaaand I will not get arrested or held responsible. Never. No matter what.

How about it?

Monday, September 5, 2011

Still didn't manage to find a theme.

When I first started blogging my main theme was fun. I was determined to tell all about funny things and unfunny-but-written-in-a-funny-way things and that would be it! I considered this to be one of those rare moments of pure awesome geniousness (what? no such word as geniousness? Now there is :)

After a while (i.e. 3 years and a half, or roughly 744 posts later) it seems I've run out of fun.
Or will power to write unfunny things in a funny way.
Bitterness has got he best of me.

Monday, August 29, 2011

More often than not I find myself falling into depression. At lest that's what I label it. I'm not sure if it can be classified as depression since it only appears when the moon decides to show us her butt crack, when the sun is shining high and when the wind blows, and it only lasts a few days.

I just want to lie down and do nothing. I feel a uselessness about my existence that downright makes me unwilling and unable to do anything. And no matter how much I try to dream, to weave, to hope, I cannot. I cannot get myself out of it. I don't know how it appears and I don't know how it passes. Sometimes I believe it's a switch, but the switch is not simple, but random. It might work, it may not. How and why and when, I did not figure it out.

Today is one of those days.

Some may consider me a fussy and picky eater. I am not. Sometimes I just eat so I would get on with more important things but other times I like to take my time and enjoy that which reaches my palate.

Food is one of the simplest joys and why not take advantage of a meal and fulfill some other need than the primitive one of having a full belly?

Today I wanted this so I went to have lunch at a restaurant - an upgrade from our company subsidized canteen lunch.

Now, two hours later, I feel empty and cheated and a fool.

I did not enjoy the food. It was expensive, it was little, it had no taste, it was overpriced (yes, on top of being expensive!) and it was badly served. I even think they dropped some of it and then put it back on the plate.

Yet I ate some of it, I did not comment on anything and I even leave a tip. Yeppp, that's how stupid I am.

Now I'm mad and upset at myself and at those people. Why didn't I do anything? Why did I allow them to make a fool out of me? My apathetic behaviour has gotten me into this 

(to be finished)